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2013: Resolved

Its brand new. Shiny. Freshly Minted. its still got that new year smell to it. What are we going to do with all this time seemingly stretched out before us? 365 days to change our lives for the better. 

Around this time we usually set goals. Make resolutions. Timelines. Vision Boards. Paragraphs committed to our new commitments.

I’m no different. In years past, I would construct multi-bulletted, multi-genre, comprehensive plans to outline the things I hoped to accomplish that year. This year the resolutions have become more focused. More precise. Hopefully more unified. 

This year I only have one main resolution. You ready for it? After such an amazing preamble you’d expect a resolution that reads like a mission statement for apple huh?

I want to Live Fully, Tackling Fear Head On! 

Please, please, hold the confetti. 

Image 

Looking back on the past year, I’ve made some good progress, tackled some goals and succeeded at them. Failed at some others. In general I think I pushed myself a little further than I thought I could, but also between the success and behind them I can spy out the laziness and fear that held me back from truly being amazing. Last year was a good year. But it could have been better. 

The easiest place for me to spot that fear/laziness is in social situations. Now, there is probably nobody who really knows me that would say I’m socially awkward. Or uncomfortable..except for the ridiculously beautiful women I truly truly like. I become like rainman when I’m around em..or a parody of TI. smh. Its ridiculous. And counterproductive. For  a long while, I would consciously use this shyness to keep myself out of trouble. Cause I knew that as long as I was shy I could use that shyness as a shield to protect myself from the temptations that came with interactions with certain people.

Or with consistency with certain relationships. I’d use the excuse that my demanding career took precedence over relationships and in order for me to get to where I need to be I had to be selfish and make decisions that may undercut relationships but that would benefit me career-wise. I no longer think that this is true. I think that this is an excuse to be lazy about being thoughtful to others. 

That time has passed. And perhaps that time/excuse was never here. Only an echo of a good idea that stuck around for too long. 

I’ve always believed that I was meant for more. That I’m not as good as I can be. That there is a greater purpose for my life. This is a story I’ve told myself for years, decades. 

The time to pursue that destiny is now. And has always been now. And I’ve made progress. But, In order to get there I need to be soo much more than I am. And it may not mean I need to totally revamp my whole life and throw out everything i’ve done in the last 28 years. No. Instead I think I need to make those critical choices that will turn me from a steam engine to a monorail.

I believe it’s the small decisions on important things that build up over time to get us to places we couldn’t have imagined when we first made those decisions. The decision to exercise everyday leads to health and wellness in your 40s and 50s. The decision to not make health a priority can lead to diabetes at 37 or even (nowadays) at 18.

I need to attack life. We need to attack life. But the first thing that has to change is our minds. I need to have made certain changes mentally before I can expect to see the fruit in the real world. 

A couple articles that have inspired me coming into the new year:

http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/why-wont-anyone-be-honest-with-you/

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Enjoy. 

So In 2013, I won’t let shyness hold me back as an excuse. I will make people feel comfortable around me. I will help people understand that I’m not here to reject or judge them but to support them and make them feel loved. I’ll practice the social cues that others have used that have made me feel accepted. I’ll be a better friend. A better brother. A better son. 

I’ll be more consistent. I’ll build relationships and not let them die slow deaths of contact inertia. I’ll send cards, emails, texts, and calls to let the people I care about know that I do in fact care. 

For me this is a goal worth pursuing. 

What’s yours this year?

Fly or Fall. 

OFO

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