Or should I just say ..Devils in fur coats?
During this year away from (seemingly) common sense i’ve made some sacrifices..hoping that they would end up being for the greater good. Oh you don’t believe me? You want a list.
Sure! I’ll give you an abbreviated list.
1. So I decided during this year away to stay with a family in order save money. Great you say? I agree I’m saving a good bit of money so it’s definitely a blessing. However, this family had one stipulation, which seemed like not such a big deal at first but has grown to epic proportions as the year goes on. NO GIRLS over. Now hold on, before you give me the ultimate side eye, I’m not saying I want to invite girls so I can spray them with whipped cream from my super soaker and do things that only belong in a three ring circus…[epic silence] ..no really I’m not, but I wouldn’t mind bringing friends, co-residents, etc over to just chill or kick it. *sigh*
Oh well. I guess you get what you pay for.
2. This mu**fu%$in cat.
I dont like cats as a general rule. Its like “A before E except after C”. This applies to most situations. Now, I’ll admit, during college I had a girlfriend who had a cat whose was bat$hit crazy. That cat used to run in circles around the room as fast as it could and only stop in order to bite my toes. *shakes head* If I worked at a pharmacy at the time…that cat may have had a lunch that led to a catnap that he never woke up from.
*clears throat and brightens* But still I was willing to chalk that up to the fact that some people have mental illnesses, maybe some cats have the same. Nope. Incorrect. Wrong. This new cat isn’t kinetic crazy..but it is rude. Messy rude. Loud and rude. Ignant. If I had to guess, I’d guess this cat never had no home training. As a result, this cat and I be beefing like the cast of Love and Hip Hop.
An examples of our struggle:
1. I’m walking in to the bathroom. The cat is walking down the hall mewling all loud and raucously like DMX at the library. I roll my eyes at him and close the door to the bathroom to handle my morning business. I’m just about finished when this troublemaker bust in the door [which may or may not have been securely closed] and strolls in like “I don’t do privacy lil ni**a.” He then proceeds to the toilet like I was taking too long and holding him up from getting to an important meeting. Just disrespectful.
*sigh* This cat is a problem. Its getting late ..or I would regale you with story after story of our growing beef. But please believe that I’ll keep you updated …
Fly or Fall. On a cat.